Just a little background…I’ve been married to a Black woman for almost 20 years, we have 2 biracial boys who are turning into fine young men.

This question sparked a memory for me:

“Would he stand up for me in the face of a blatant racist act?”

My answer to that is: he’d better!

My memory is from a long time ago, when I was about 20 (I’m 56 now). I was with a Black girlfriend in a convenience store in her home town in Connecticut. The cashier (a white girl) ordered my girlfriend out of the store for the crime of “looking around” (she was looking for me). The premise was that my girlfriend was checking to see whether she was being watched before she attempted the crime of shoplifting.

I started arguing with the cashier, before escalating to a full-on screaming tirade that ended with me bouncing a 2-liter bottle of soda off the counter. It went straight over the cashier’s head. I understand this may not have been the most mature way of handling the situation. I’d probably go about it differently now, but mind you, recording the racism for use on YouTube was not an option at the time.

My quasi-violent reaction was no doubt the product of my white upbringing — I had no way of processing this kind of treatment. It was unexpected and infuriating to the point where I lost control of myself almost immediately. I understand now that a Black person (particularly a Black male) could never react in such a way without fear of being shot or imprisoned.

My GF was devastated (she’s never been a criminal — she was attending an elite private college at the time and is now a professor at an HBCU). We followed up by writing a letter to the editor in the local paper, which was never published. The point is, she knew that I had her back, to whatever extent that I could. The phrase “lending privilege” didn’t exist at the time, but that’s what I was trying to do, in my own way.