Agreed 1000%. We never spanked our boys, not once. Children learn by example. They learn self-control, dignity, and respect by example, just like anything else. If you, as a parent, are exhibiting violence, disrespect, and the use of pain and fear to get what you want, then they will learn those things instead.

I always tell spankers--you can do this because you're bigger and stronger than your kids. That will not always be true. Elder abuse is a real thing and for it's perpetuated for a real reason. Be careful.

Our kids turned out great, btw. Respectful, thoughtful, considerate, self-disciplined. Both enrolled in highly selective colleges.